A Great Book and other fun...

Good day! I am again surprised at how long I go without updating this thing. You know, I really haven't caught up to myself after the birth of Miss Alice. Something about having 4 kids spaced at these intervals...each in their own stage has been a challenge. But it is teaching me grace on many different levels. Giving grace to them and more difficult: to myself. Living with the fact that I simply CANNOT keep my house clean at this point in my life is a pretty hard pill to swallow. Not that I am even a neat freak but I do gain a certain peace from seeing a bit of artistic balance in my rooms that ideally would not be littered with toys, undies, fruit loops...you get the picture.

Luckily our artistic endeavors are continuing...just not in the style of Pottery Barn. Alice ate a blue magic marker last night which created a striking effect on her lips;o) and my boys have taken up spray painting anything they can find out in the yard. They recently pimped up their old cozy coupe with some chalkboard and gold metallic paint they found in the garage. It truly is pretty funny.

Alice loves the ghetto coupe...notice the fingerpaint on my house!!??!!



Intellectualizing the idea that you should be able to relish spending time with your kids over your own stuff comes pretty easy to me. But I am learning as I gain both age and perspective that the challenge starts after I "understand" how to do something. That's where I seek God. Funny that you can make sense of the way things should be in your mind (even the way you want them to be), but doing them comes as a constant battle of wills. I have learned some points of surrender at this phase in my life. Doing all the things you know are right is just not quite as easy as it seems to me. Man, that's a bummer because I always thought I would just see where I want to go and go there...but in my experience it's a little tougher than that. It usually entails giving up something of myself. Which it turns out is a bonus. I am getting there.

I just finished reading the book Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller...I am not a huge book reader. Just because I usually fall asleep before I get anywhere. But this book was like I could have written it. I absolutely loved it and thought it was a great fresh view on following Christ that I can really identify with. I have been on this kind of "non religious" path for a while and well, this book kind of defines why. Well, I say non religious...not like I have given up church and live in a bus...but just that I don't think Christ looks like the typical American church. To me the two are very different. That again is something I am intellectualizing, but not sure yet how to live...more patience.

Our trip to Italy was amazing. Alice, Brian, my Mom and I had a blast exploring, getting lost, experiencing, tasting...it was great. It was a Boeing conference for the Chinook helicopter and Boeing was more than hospitable. We enjoyed everything from an authentic Italian dinner and party on a countryside farm to a formal dinner at an old medieval city center palace. Add to that all of Rome, the Vatican (preps us for Owen's Catholic school next year), Colosseum, Forum, Tuscany, wine, pizza and it was fabulous. I was really glad I got to share it with my Mom who has always wanted to travel there. Here are a TON of pics...but if you want to browse, feel free!



We just returned from our family beach trip to Jekyll and it also was a lot of fun. I did rename it a family reunion as opposed to "vacation"...just semantics I know, but it was a lot of work getting that many people on the same page for some relaxation. All things considered I think we did a darn good job!





Lastly, Alice just celebrated her one year birthday...can't believe it's been a year. Typical response, I know. My best friend from middle school surprised me and visited. She helps me more than she knows. Especially when I planned running a 5K the evening we got back from Jekyll and Alice's party at 2pm the next day...needless to say, Thanks, Robin!!!! The party was great and Alice loves her NON PAINTED cozy coupe that is all hers!



Oh yes,and here are her two bday cakes...the pink elephant for her joint party at the beach with cuz Evelyn made by me and Sara and the second, her lady bug cake made by a very rushed me...she didn't seem to mind;o)





Until next time...CIAO!

Hello?

We are still here!!!

We are doing quite well, just don't ever update this blog...so I thought either get rid of the darn thing or update it. I am updating! I have already gotten rid of my facebook, so this is a good compromise for me on the whole keep up with people via the internet thing. Facebook was way too much for me. There is just something so not right about it...but that is for another discussion;o)

This video pretty much sums up our life right now...crazy! Warning: for first time Moms: you may find this pretty scary and find yourself thinking..."that baby's head is WAY too close to the coffee table!!!", but I assure you she was fine. She can keep up with her 4 year old brother that's for sure. For that matter she can keep up with all of her brothers. It is cool. Strong woman!



Other than that...I am covered with my annual poison ivy infestation. School is wrapping up. We are getting ready for a gorgeous summer of fun and relaxation. Brian, Alice, my Mom and I will be traveling to Rome the end of this month. My brave sister Sara has offered to watch the other 3 boys...Courageous girl;O) Then the pool, long days, Jekyll and somewhere in there I am dying to meet Mr. Addison my new nephew who lives in Virginia!

We have had a great Spring. I got to dress a girl for Easter...she stayed in that dress all day. Owen has entered a Doodle for Google contest and we are awaiting results, and we finally decided on a middle school option for Owen. It is a Catholic private middle and highschool that is a good mix of diversity, arts and academic excellence, with spiritual training as well. I know I sound like a commercial, but I did enough research on this decision that I am well qualified to speak on the subject...haha. Here is the link: Mount de Sales Academy

Weston is playing the guitar still, albeit, less enthusiastically than this time last year, but we are staying with it through the hump...and I am running still and actually liking it still. Brian is working his butt off, but that seems to be what he wants to do. So we are blessed. Here are some pictures....and maybe I'll be better at updating from now on.

Oops I've run out space to add more pics...I am gonna have to buy some more space on this world wide web...I'll add them later this week!

Love, Amanda

Gratitude

We just returned from a whirlwind trip down to St. Pete for the funeral of my great Aunt Kathryn. She has been living here in Macon for the last few years in an assisted living home. She died Monday...which was also the last time I visited her. We always visited her on Mondays. That is my Dad's day off so he and I along with Miles and Alice would go hang out with her for a few minutes and visit. It was not something I loved doing, although it wasn't bad either. Just going there was kind of hard, especially making Miles TRY to sit still and "visit" is not easy. She also wasn't herself, although there were still glimpses of her humour that seeped through. She was a hoot in her earlier years. But we were her only remaining family aside from my grandfather(her brother) and a couple of her nephews. She never had any children of her own.

So when she passed away, my Dad and I decided that we would bid her farewell in the style of our Monday visits and take Miles and Alice with us to the funeral. It would have been very easy not to go. Alice nurses and a 7 hour trip down and back in two days was a bit daunting. But with DVD player for Miles in tow, we set out on our adventure. I am so glad we did.

As a rule, I think we all get very busy in the comings and goings of our lives...so much so that we forget how we got where we are. And if we remember how we got where we are, we often attribute it to the decisions we made in getting there. But this trip really brought me face to face with family that I hardly ever knew, whose lives are over now, but who are still forever intertwined with mine. So cool. I got to see glimpses of the Sassaman's who came to Florida in 1926 from a frigid home in Michigan to save the life of one of their five children who was sickly in the cold northern climate. They ended up in St. Pete where my great grandfather eventually became principal of St. Pete high school. They raised 5 kids there and built their house where they lived for the next 60 plus years with their own hands. I know they made mistakes and had ups and downs. But without them I couldn't be building my life right now. It is neat to know that the life's work of each generation paves the way for the next and we keep building...just trying to do what's right for ourselves and others. It's a history that is as much relevant in the past as it is right now. Giving all that you are capable of to connect the yesterdays with the tomorrows. It inspires me to know more about all of the the generations that came before on both sides of my family. How very valuable they are. I want to remember to teach these important stories to my children so they know none of us live in isolation from those that come before or after us...we live to the greater good of all.

I know this is kind of sappy and I think my Mom brain makes me a less pensive writer than I used to be, but if I could get anything right in my head to summarize what I am saying its this: It's so valuable to recognize the lives of those that came before us because by them living their everyday to the fullest they were giving the gifts of mothers and fathers, grandmothers and grandfathers, stories of hope, courage, lessons of love, mistakes and failures. All these experiences turn into beautiful stained glass windows of experience with which we can look through one side and see our past and the other side and see our future. So often we think those windows we look through are just our own, but if we really look we can see the colors and shapes that make up the other generations that came before us. How much more meaningful things can be when seen with gracious eyes looking through those beautiful windows!

Okay, okay...I gotta clean this house my family is making windows in...so that's all the deep thoughts I get for today!! Happy Saturday!

New Years...

Well, Christmas has come and gone and it was a good one. Not just in terms of presents...although I think the kids made out quite well, but also in volume of memorable activities with our whole family. You can't beat that one. Everyone was here this year...my sisters, their husbands and kids. We are a big clan now...it's crazy! And just continuing to grow.



This year I have many hopes and dreams. I get so sappy at New Year's thinking about the year that has gone and filled with anticipation at what is to come. 2008 brought Baby Alice into our lives which was truly awesome and unbelievable. I am hoping 2009 will bring some much needed organization and direction for the next part of our lives where we anticipate being out of "the babies on the way stage" since all of our little ones are finally here!

I have struggled this year with how to keep my head on straight with all of the chaos of having 4 kids, a husband who works too much, kids at very different stages and my own wants and dreams. Admittedly, sometimes my dream is to just wake up to a clean kitchen! It's funny but this 4Th kid has really rocked my world. I think I have always been a little organizationally challenged, but I used to be able to keep up on some level. Seems lately I am barely able to keep my head above water. People going here and there, feeding baby round the clock, dealing with a 3-4 year old Miles, school projects, traveling Brian, Weston's often fun behavior...sometimes I feel like I am going crazy. All that said, at the end of the day I am always thankful that we made it through and we all love each other and we get another day to try again.

I enjoy watching people and I really enjoyed having both of my sisters here. They are quite different from each other and I can see parts of myself in each of them. It was neat for me to see that as different as they are, it is quite amazing that I am able to observe in them things that I can refresh in myself. One is so organized and practical, the other more free spirited...It is my hope to embody both in myself and have some time to reflect a bit on who I am in this world.

Perhaps 2009 will bring some much needed time to prioritize, organize, reflect and keep growing. It's so cool in life that you just keep plugging along until your time runs out. Perseverance is something that you don't necessarily appreciate in your youth. Luckily I am still young-ha- but really, I always wanted everything right here and right now. It is awesome to see that as life goes on you relish the fact that waiting and perseverance is an actual PRIVILEGE! How lucky I am to keep plugging along while God molds and transforms me into who he has planned for me to be. Maybe this year he has a bit more organizational rhythm in mind for me. I'm keeping my fingers crossed...and helping him out with my own desire (and 9 cube organizer from Lowe's).

We are truly blessed and even in the messiness of this life it is the presence of those we love that make us whole. I already have that. Maybe my quest for a bit more predictable rhythm will just clear the fog away for me to see my blessings more clearly. Hope 2009 brings many blessings for you and yours! Happy New Year!

Now, here's a Mom!

You may have seen this one before...I have. But it gets funnier (and freakishly more applicable) every time I see it! Enjoy!


The Mom Song from Northland Video on Vimeo.

Deep thoughts: What is a grown up!?!

Well, it's already November. Wow! We are having a beautiful Fall. The leaves are actually colorful, the weather is cool and the kids are in school. All wonderful attributes to this season. As I stay at home for my tenth year of parenting, I realize that despite the routines of my day, I am in an absolute lack of knowledge of what I am doing. Maybe I 'know" less now than ever. That's a doozy. I often expect myself to be perfected in my life of mom, wife and woman. The traditional (and quite blessed, might I add) Mom of 4 beautiful, smart children. The driver of a spiffy 2008 Honda Oddyssey. The caretaker of a perfect suburban masterpiece of a home. But despite it all, my brain is quite bored.

Now the kids are always a thrill. I say that honestly. Watching Alice grow and nursing her in her footy pajamas while it drizzles a cold wet rain outside is absolute bliss. Even watching a Spongebob episode for the millionth time and discussing it's life meaning with my now 4 year old Miles is an absolute trip. Even keeping up with the spelling words of an always energetic Weston is a lesson in why running on the treadmill is vital to my success as a Mom. And especially the challenges of ten year old Owen who lives in his own world 200% of the time, yet seems to know everything about how the real world should be run, reminds me constantly that even as my kids get older they need me more than ever.

All this said, it seems the struggle for me comes in deciding how to deal with the practicality of managing this lfestyle with the reality that it's my life too and I want an interesting one. Seems every 5 years or so I ride this wave of restlessness that takes me somewhere different. It wells up from the inside and comes rushing out of my heart. It's made me quite anxious several times as I fought it fierecly. Pretty futile when thinking about actually trying to stop a wave of water from rushing in on the sandy beach. It just can't happen. It's like I want change. I want to show my kids the world! I want to dream and follow the dreams I come up with! I want to LIVE and BREATHE and MOVE and CHANGE. But all the while my idealistic thoughts are taking shape, the realities of the world line up outside my door and tell me how much money I need to make these things real and how I need a nice backyard for the kids and how the kids need a stable school life.

You may ask, how radical are your dreams? Well, not really. But those darn annoying realities line up just the same. For example, I found a house in the midtown section of Macon. Beautiful really. Perfect maybe. Everything that I would dream of in a house and it's just a house anyway. But maybe the neighborhood is not as safe. Maybe the backyard is not as big. The whole school situation would have to change. It's really old, so what would that be like? I guess my question is "How do you know when it's OK to make a change without knowing how it will all play out ahead of time? How do you know when to take a risk when you have 4 kids in tow? How do you trust in God's providence when all you hear is practical parenting?" Seems silly really, but it's these everyday scenarios that I struggle with. Making little decisions to temporarily appease the big ones seems to be my regular line of defense. Growing up. I admire the people who just don't think about things so much!

This awesome house...Click Here...

Fifth grade fun...

Quick update...we are doing great getting adjusted to life as a family of 6. Well, GREAT is obviously a very relative term. It's crazy. Brian has been traveling, I had mastitis (an infection of, yes, the BREAST) AGAIN, and the kids school lives are ramping up...it all makes for some fun. I am learning to let things go and take a bit more "light" approach to life. Learning also is a relative term. Maybe I am becoming more aware of my need to learn these things!

Owen is memorizing Abe Lincoln's Gettysburg Address and is doing a stellar job. He has apparently not inherited my fear of public speaking which I Forced myself to overcome for high school debate and theater. I have challenged him to a memorization contest and he is whipping my butt. But I will give myself credit...I am a bit busy. Anyway, as I have watched him work with these famous words I have been reminded of one of my favorite Fife moments! Thank goodness for youtube!



Alice is growing and will be 8 weeks tomorrow. She truly is a joy and I am amazed at how she is just one of us. Life's cool like that. She's here and although initially unexpected, it's like it could be no other way. Here's a pic of her little smiley self...



Signing off for now,
Amanda